so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize