My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
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Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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