you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
