I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
