My sheets look like a crime scene.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
