She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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