Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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