Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize
