just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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