loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
