When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
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