I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
