I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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