I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
