So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
