Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize