it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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