i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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