I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
