And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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