I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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