i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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