so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
