i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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