ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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