he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
