i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
