I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
