Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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