No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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