he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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