how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
