Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
