you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
