First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize