i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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