i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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