Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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