She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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