don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
There are leaves in my underwear?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
