The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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