my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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