somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
