I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
