Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize