I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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