how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
That reminds me...we need to get swords
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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