I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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