Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
