My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
