I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Randomize
