I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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