mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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