Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
