Do you still have your period?
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Randomize
