The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
be right there i have to get my cape
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
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