everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
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i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
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I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.