Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is