i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.