It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
you inspire me to be a worse person
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
