I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Randomize
