I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
