Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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