what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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