some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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