id be glad to
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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