Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
