I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
