some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
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When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
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Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
My feet surprised me
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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