Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
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I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
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Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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