WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
